I Don’t Like Being Around People – Reasons & What To Do About It

If you don’t like being around people, there could be various reasons behind it, including introversion, hating small talk, low self-esteem, depression, social anxiety, and being surrounded by toxic people. There are always ways to work on your issues, either by identifying them and working on yourself or seeking professional help.

If someone says, “I don’t like being around people,” then one’s mind automatically assumes they are an introvert or a shy person who doesn’t like other people’s company. While that might be the case sometimes, but not always.

A person might say this statement in front of their close friends or family, and there could be many different issues behind them feeling this way.

Not always do we realize there could be a deeper issue behind a statement like this. We always think of this as a simple statement, but there can be another reason why a person doesn’t like being around people.

If you’ve been lately feeling this way, you might have deeper issues with thinking this way.

Reasons you don’t like being around people

A young woman is at a coffee shop with her friend, but is not conversing with her friend, she has a hard time making small talk.

When you say you don’t like being around people, many people may assume you are shy and have difficulties talking to people.

Sometimes they might think you are just an introvert. So automatically, they presume you like to be alone and don’t do well within a group. But that might not always be the case.

Humans cannot survive alone, and even though you might not be the most social person, it’s normal to say that you don’t like being around people.

Sometimes there could be deeper issues that you’re ignoring or are scared to acknowledge.

Let’s discuss what these issues could be, and maybe you’ll find a relatable issue.

1. Being an introvert

Let’s address this issue first, as this might be the most common assumption and true for many people.

As an introvert, I can relate and have said this a few times over to my family and close friends that I don’t like or particularly enjoy being around other people.

It’s not like introverts don’t enjoy being social or always want to confine themselves to their room. But they have a limited capacity to socialize and need time to recharge when they feel drained from being around many people.

Introverts do enjoy forming deeper friendships and relationships, but only with a few selected people.

Suggestion

  • Sometimes you can handle social outings by setting a time limit for them. By fixing a time, you will feel in control of the situation. Since you prepared yourself mentally before, you won’t feel as exhausted as you might before.
  • You might have your comfort places and zones. For example, if you like being in small cafes and that gives you a sense of comfort, you can ask other people to join you there whenever hanging out with them.

2. Doesn’t do well with small talk

Not everyone can do well with small talk, which could also be another reason you don’t like being around people.

Whenever we meet other people, not always can we have deep, meaningful conversations. It also depends a lot on the social event you are at. But not all people can have a small chat, and they might find it somewhat awkward.

Suggestion

Small talks can be unpleasant and awkward at the same time. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and you can make sure this from your end by introducing small exciting questions to the person in front of you. The question shouldn’t be too personal but also not too vague.

For example, if talking about books, you can ask them their favorite book or author. This can lead to an exciting conversation, and you won’t feel you’re having a superficial conversation with someone.

While you should also put effort into being an active listener, the other person might stop showing interest in conversation if they feel heard by you.

3. Self-esteem issues

There are a lot of people who have self-esteem issues, which usually generate from their childhood.

It’s challenging to gel well around people for someone who has these issues, and they would often feel not worthy or weird hanging around with other people.

If you can’t love yourself first, you won’t be able to hang out with others. Building up your self-esteem should be your priority. It won’t be as easy, so seeking professional help is always a good idea.

4. Depression

Depression is a word that is often thrown around carelessly, and if you think back, even you might have done that a lot of times. Just because you couldn’t get your favorite ice cream after having a bad day doesn’t mean you are depressed.

Depression is termed as a severe mental health condition varying in seriousness.

There are many signs for people in depression; one of them includes not liking being around people. For them, even getting up from their bed in the morning can seem like a difficult task.

So expecting them to hang out with others can be entirely out-of-the-box thought. So seeking professional help is really important for people with depression.

5. Social anxiety

Social anxiety and being an introvert are two different things. A person with social anxiety feels and overthinks about how others perceive them.

Speaking in public, using a bathroom, and asking someone for directions are totally absurd ideas for such people.

If someone has social anxiety, they end up equating it with hating people. When they feel they can’t hang out with others, they just stop liking being around people.

It’s not that they hate you or don’t like you. It’s just they aren’t comfortable in a particular situation.

Suggestion

  • Knowing your triggers can be helpful in the long run. Analyzing your past and thinking back to when and what made you get social anxiety will help you. Keep a list of these triggers, for it can help know and handle things better in the future.
  • Make small, achievable goals. Hanging out with a particular friend at a specific place. Reaching out to a friend during the weekend by texting them. You might take one step forward and two steps back, but it’s still better to work on yourself than doing nothing at all.

6. Toxic people around you

The kind of friendships you form and the people you interact with matter a lot. You might not be able to see it, but you could have a toxic friend group or get attracted to the wrong people in your life.

The basic rule of any relationship is to put in equal effort. If you’re always the only one doing that, then you might be around toxic people.

Such toxic people might only be interested in telling their life stories and never listening about yours. They will criticize you in the politest way, which is why you end up ignoring it.

They can be pretty draining if they always complain about everything around them. You’re always the one giving, and they are just taking you for granted, be it emotionally or tangibly.

Suggestion

You can’t quickly realize this on your own, but other people you’re close to might be able to tell you if you’re surrounded by toxic people.

If you have a family member you’re close to, you can discuss these issues with them and be mindful of whom you go to for such life advice. They should be someone emotionally mature and understanding.

FAQs

Why do I hate being around my family?

You might have various issues preventing you from forming a bond with your family, such as toxic behaviors, abuse, neglect, conflict, etc.

You can’t feel safe or friendly towards them unless your issues are resolved, and most people take therapy to bond with their family. But, sometimes even after that, they can’t.

Is it bad to hate your sibling?

Your parents are supposed to treat you and your siblings alike. If they don’t and end up favoring one child over the other and always finding faults within the other, that can easily make you hate your sibling.

Getting raised in a healthy environment is very important to avoid hating your siblings.

To summarize

Plenty of reasons could be behind why you might not like being around people. While being introverted and shy are the most probable assumptions but not always true.

There could be underlying issues and problems that you need to identify with this feeling of not liking being around people.

Figuring these issues and then working on them by yourself or with professional help can be a whole process that you can’t achieve in a short time. But doing something to improve yourself and grow as a person is always better than doing nothing about it.